Popular Nostalgia

Some people stand in the darkness, afraid to step into the light.

And then there was Baywatch.

We never missed a single episodes as normally disorganised brothers and dads managed to time their takeover of the telly to coincide with the weekly soft porn episode brought to you by David Hasslehof. I recently watched a re-run and was appalled that we used to aspire to be lifeguards like Pammy. I fully expected a saxophone solo and Jenna Jamieson to stroll out with the baby oil.

Hasslehof has gone onto big things -mainly getting drunk and abusing staff at Wimbledon. Pammy has married, re-married and appeared on Borat. Responsible for a thousand slow-motion beach run imitations, Baywatch has a special place in the heart of Western culture for crap TV.

Sing along with the introduction:

(The best piano intro in the world)

Some people stand in the darkness,

Afraid to step into the light,

Some people need to help somebody,

When the edge of surrender’s in sight.

Don’t you worry

-it’s gonna be alright.

Cos I’m always ready,

I won’t let you out of my sight.

I’ll be ready (I’ll be ready)

Never you fear (No don’t you fear)

I’ll be ready, forever and always,

I’m always here.

In us we all have the power,

But sometimes its so hard to see,

And instinct is stronger than reason,

It’s just human nature to me.

Don’t you worry

-it’s gonna be alright.

Cos I’m always ready,

I won’t let you out of my sight.

I’ll be ready (I’ll be ready)

Never you fear (No don’t you fear)

I’ll be ready, forever and always,

I’m always here.

(The best piano instrumental in the world)

Cos I’m always ready,

I won’t let you out of my sight.

I’ll be ready (I’ll be ready)

Never you fear (No don’t you fear)

I’ll be ready, forever and always,

I’m always here.

Forever and always,

I’m always here.

One of my friends started a Baywatch society at Nottingham University who dutifully laid down on the floor and did the front crawl every time the theme tune was played. My only regret is that I didn’t manage to get my hands on one of those orange floats.